There is a story I would like to share in hopes that perhaps ONE GIRL will read it and take it to heart and not allow it to happen to them...It's not a story I have shared with many and it is not a story I am proud of but none the less it is a story.
There was a girl I knew she had very very low self-esteem, she had no confidence and she little faith in her self. She didn't think she would ever get married, she didn't think she deserved a man, she didn't think she was beautiful enough to have anyone in her life, to have kids, to have any of those dreams that she sooo greatly desired! One day this girl met a guy..he was cute, funny and smart he said sweet things to her, he took he out to dinner and he "romanced" her. She thought "he hung the moon" she was head over hills in love.....and she THOUGHT he was too. However the more she got to know him the more she noticed little things, one being his nonacceptance of what she physically looked like. All through there relationship he was constantly demeaning her, making her feel as if she was unworthy and should feel like she was lucky to have him. He lied to her constantly and blatantly did so. He would make her look like a fool to those who loved her but to her face act as if he "loved" her as much as she loved him. He often told her she MUST have makeup on because she was NOT pretty enough without make-up. She would hear all the time how she wasn't skinny enough, that good old saying "if you really love me than you would do ..........", she was asked to do things that were just beyond crazy against EVERYTHING she believed in. He knew she felt like she could do no better so he playing with her emotions, he verbally abused her, he physically abused her and he almost literally destroyed her.
I won't go into the details and I won't say who the person is none of that matters what does matter is realizing WHY it happened other than the fact that he is just pure evil, it happened because SHE did not have any faith in herself, man after man in her life had let her down, had hurt her in some way and she was at the bottom of the barrel in trying to pick herself up....she had NO self-esteem and he knew it, she was terrified he would leave her and he knew it, she was scared she would grow old alone and he knew it. He used all of that against her and almost destroyed her...eventually he was caught in his affairs and she finally left him. She walked away and it hurt it a lot but with the love of family and friends and more than anything GOD she was able to pull herself together and eventually move on. God,life and time heal all wounds!
She looks back on that time in her life and it saddens her that she had got so low and so good at hiding things from her family that they really had no clue what was going on. God has blessed her and brought someone new in her life and she is finally experiencing what REAL love is like. She is blessed now and getting stronger every day. However she still thinks about that time and what she would tell her nieces or any girl or woman that is being controlled,abused or mistreated by a man and this is what she came up with:
1) You are precious in the sight of the lord ...You are a princess and you should be treated as so.
2) You deserve respect, demand it, expect it!
3) Never allow anyone to control how you feel about yourself! Look in the mirror remind yourself daily that you are wonderful,amazing, out of this world and you deserve only the best!
4) If you are in a relationship where you are being physically abused,emotionally abused or verbally abused realize it WILL NOT STOP!!! They are not going to quit and eventually it could get very very ugly.
5) Also realize you did not cause him to do it and it is not your fault DO NOT ACCEPT BLAME!
6) Seek help! PLEASE seek help! Confide in someone and be brave..and know that even though you may feel as though your life is falling into a thousand pieces YOU WILL BE OK!
7) Take time to heal, surround yourself with good people and God and move forward. KNOW there are GOOD MEN out there!
Love should never ever be about bruises, low self-esteem, making the person you love do things they do not want to do just to please you. Love should never cause fear and pain in such a horrible way THAT IS NOT LOVE!
Love is a wonderful thing when done in the right way with a man/woman God has given you. Love should make you feel happy and special (granted you will have fights some times but they should never lead to you being hit) You are special and deserve to be loved the right way!
I know all this is true because this story was about me and just a tad of what I have been through and although i hate what I experienced and I don't talk about it often I also know that I will find a way to take something from it and move forward. I am strong there is NO doubting that, I am important to GOD and I do matter. I will never ever allow another person to hit me or abuse me in anyway! I have a voice i have an opinion and I will be heard!
So in the end the abuse did not win HE did not win I DID and for that I hold my head up and I am proud!
Now I am happy to say I have a man in my life that GOD brought me , I am engaged to be married and I am excited about life and I know I never ever again have to worry about a man hitting me or abusing me in any way!
I have worried about what type of example I would set for my nieces because I want them to be proud of me. I feel like I have shown them that being a woman does not mean you coward down it means you stand strong, proud and you fight for what you believe in. I know that in the future they will all three start dating and I will pray that they will always remember what I went through and never ever go through it themselves. If I can stop just one girl, if I can protect Brooklyn, Callie and Taylor from ever being treated this way by being honest with them and open about what happened to me than I know I have made something really good come out of all that bad. That is more than enough for me!
I am survivor and I am damn proud of it!
Friday, May 4, 2012
Wednesday, March 21, 2012
Tuesday, March 13, 2012
Matthew William Lee--The little boy that changed everything!
I have a story to share with you about a young man that came into my life and literally changed everything about my life. He was a prayed for blessing a perfect distraction in all our crazy lives.. My sweet sister wasn't sure when or if she would ever get pregnant and yet I will always remember the pooh shoes that told me " I was going to be an AUNT" I will never forget jumping up and down, screaming and hollering and literally just being soo excited! When Matthew was born he came at a time in my life when I needed a NEW focus and Matthew was that focus...He changed EVERYTHING!!!
Since than Matthew has filled my life with so much laughter, so much joy and such and awesome honour to be called HIS AUNT! Matthew for as long as I can remember has been the young man with the "beyond wild imagination" the " amazing knowledge of things I would never think to know so much about" the "uncanny ability to make me laugh when NOBODY else could" he had my heart in the palm of his hands and he still does. I have watched him grow from a laughing, silly, fun loving, kind little boy to this amazing man that just blows my mind every time I think about him. Matthew is wise beyond his years.....he has such a way of seeing things... of looking beyond someones faults and seeing the good in them, he forgives and he loves with all that is in him. He protects, he protects me and I saw that when my ex hurt me so badly Matthew protected me i didn't realize at the time how much until this past summer when I stayed in Florida with them..Matthew was quiet and didn't say much at first BUT than he would start talking to me about all kinds of things and he would say things about wanting to see me happy.. Matthew i knew would be a tough cookie for another man to ever be his uncle because he was so hurt by my ex. I worried when Chad went to Florida with me for my grannies funeral, I worried how Matthew would take to him and I prayed that Matthew would see what I saw. He did, he saw the good side and he let me know in his own way he approved. In all my life, in all I have done I pray that I am remembered the most for being a good AUNT...
I pray Matthew always knows how very much I love him and how very very proud of him I am. Sometimes I think about this past summer and the" missiles"lol that often just barley missed my head...I also remember the "shows" Matthew and I watched together..the laughs that sometimes nobody else understood but us. The talks and closeness that we gained. I wouldn't trade anything in this world for that time because Matthew and I bonded again.
He is somebody that I will forever be proud of , forever admire and forever respect. Even as a young man he already deserves my respect and leaves me speechless when I stop and think of the wisdom he holds. He was my first nephew, the first all nighters when i spent the night to help out, my first nephew b-day parties, my first aunt things, my first heart strings pulled, my first everything as an Aunt and he will always and forever have a huge part of my heart! Matthew I love you so very much! I am so proud of everything you stand for and everything you are! I pray that as your Aunt I can make you proud of me and that you will NEVER ever doubt my love for you. You are sooo important to my life and I will always hold you close to my heart! I hope you have an amazing birthday! I will be home soon to see you ......I love you bubby always and forever!
Aunt.CineCine
Since than Matthew has filled my life with so much laughter, so much joy and such and awesome honour to be called HIS AUNT! Matthew for as long as I can remember has been the young man with the "beyond wild imagination" the " amazing knowledge of things I would never think to know so much about" the "uncanny ability to make me laugh when NOBODY else could" he had my heart in the palm of his hands and he still does. I have watched him grow from a laughing, silly, fun loving, kind little boy to this amazing man that just blows my mind every time I think about him. Matthew is wise beyond his years.....he has such a way of seeing things... of looking beyond someones faults and seeing the good in them, he forgives and he loves with all that is in him. He protects, he protects me and I saw that when my ex hurt me so badly Matthew protected me i didn't realize at the time how much until this past summer when I stayed in Florida with them..Matthew was quiet and didn't say much at first BUT than he would start talking to me about all kinds of things and he would say things about wanting to see me happy.. Matthew i knew would be a tough cookie for another man to ever be his uncle because he was so hurt by my ex. I worried when Chad went to Florida with me for my grannies funeral, I worried how Matthew would take to him and I prayed that Matthew would see what I saw. He did, he saw the good side and he let me know in his own way he approved. In all my life, in all I have done I pray that I am remembered the most for being a good AUNT...
I pray Matthew always knows how very much I love him and how very very proud of him I am. Sometimes I think about this past summer and the" missiles"lol that often just barley missed my head...I also remember the "shows" Matthew and I watched together..the laughs that sometimes nobody else understood but us. The talks and closeness that we gained. I wouldn't trade anything in this world for that time because Matthew and I bonded again.
He is somebody that I will forever be proud of , forever admire and forever respect. Even as a young man he already deserves my respect and leaves me speechless when I stop and think of the wisdom he holds. He was my first nephew, the first all nighters when i spent the night to help out, my first nephew b-day parties, my first aunt things, my first heart strings pulled, my first everything as an Aunt and he will always and forever have a huge part of my heart! Matthew I love you so very much! I am so proud of everything you stand for and everything you are! I pray that as your Aunt I can make you proud of me and that you will NEVER ever doubt my love for you. You are sooo important to my life and I will always hold you close to my heart! I hope you have an amazing birthday! I will be home soon to see you ......I love you bubby always and forever!
Aunt.CineCine
Monday, February 13, 2012
Happy Valentine's Day!!!!
I will never forget how understanding and compassionate chad was when we went to Florida and as we mourned the loss of my granny....I will also never forget how this man with a heart of GOLD had the uncanny ability to know that asking me to marry him at the beach after just loosing my grandmother would take such a sad sad thing and turn it around to be a much sweeter and happy thing. I have no doubt my granny had something to do with that and would be thrilled to know that it happened just the way it did...
Because you are so loving, wonderful and kind, because you care more than anyone else ever has, because you listen even when you would rather not, because you love God, because you love me unconditionally, because you accepted me for exactly who and what I was, because you have a way of looking at me and everything else just disappears and because you managed to win over my babies and let them see an Uncle can be so much more than they have ever known before...because you are the amazingly awesome man you are... I LOVE YOU!!!! ALWAYS,ALWAYS,ALWAYS and FOREVER!!!!
Francine
With Christ ALL things are possible! Francine
Because you are so loving, wonderful and kind, because you care more than anyone else ever has, because you listen even when you would rather not, because you love God, because you love me unconditionally, because you accepted me for exactly who and what I was, because you have a way of looking at me and everything else just disappears and because you managed to win over my babies and let them see an Uncle can be so much more than they have ever known before...because you are the amazingly awesome man you are... I LOVE YOU!!!! ALWAYS,ALWAYS,ALWAYS and FOREVER!!!!
Francine
With Christ ALL things are possible! Francine
Thursday, February 9, 2012
Wedding Talk.....prepare yourself!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
So in preparation for my upcoming wedding I have been looking at pictures and trying to make a few decisions...we are after all still in the beginning stages of all of this! I have decided on who will be in the wedding and that was a huge blessing to get figured out! I know the colors which will be red,creme and black tuxedos. We are still not sure of where and I probably won't announce that on my blog because I don't need the wrong people getting that information! So now I am looking at invitations--I want to make them, decorations, cakes and such! Dresses as well and I will share my ideas but not the final decision I will share pictures afterwards so you can see! :0)
Sooo anyway in the next few months there will be much discussion about wedding stuff please bare with me on this and understand folks I AM soooooo flipping excited to be marrying this amazingly awesome man! I AM BLESSED!
On another note-- i have noticed of recent there seems to be a trend going through the bloggy world of bloggers being just plain hateful to other bloggers. I mean I have read some seriously MEAN and HORRIBLE stuff! It breaks my heart to read and makes me want to be even more careful what I share on my blog. Because of that I have decided to fix all comments to where I will see them before they are posted and I will NOT accept anonymous comments. I have not had this problem but chad and I were talking about it today and he expressed concern as to me just watching my back just in case somebody decides to try and come after me for taking a stand on something or whatever. Out of respect for him I am going to up my security just a tad. I know though I have nothing to worry about as all my readers are wonderful and would NEVER do anything of the such!!!
Anyway I know it was boring but that is it for now!!! I will be out of pocket for the weekend I will re-cap on Sunday night..
love to you all,,,,
Francine
With Christ ALL things are possible! Francine
Sooo anyway in the next few months there will be much discussion about wedding stuff please bare with me on this and understand folks I AM soooooo flipping excited to be marrying this amazingly awesome man! I AM BLESSED!
On another note-- i have noticed of recent there seems to be a trend going through the bloggy world of bloggers being just plain hateful to other bloggers. I mean I have read some seriously MEAN and HORRIBLE stuff! It breaks my heart to read and makes me want to be even more careful what I share on my blog. Because of that I have decided to fix all comments to where I will see them before they are posted and I will NOT accept anonymous comments. I have not had this problem but chad and I were talking about it today and he expressed concern as to me just watching my back just in case somebody decides to try and come after me for taking a stand on something or whatever. Out of respect for him I am going to up my security just a tad. I know though I have nothing to worry about as all my readers are wonderful and would NEVER do anything of the such!!!
Anyway I know it was boring but that is it for now!!! I will be out of pocket for the weekend I will re-cap on Sunday night..
love to you all,,,,
Francine
With Christ ALL things are possible! Francine
Sunday, February 5, 2012
Random weekend thoughts.....
I have realized that I feel like I kinda live in a little cocoon. My work is from my house, my school is and if I go anywhere I have my sweetheart with me usually! I like it to be honest..I feel safe and protected and I can't tell you how long it's been since I felt like that.
I LOVE my hair straight and chad does as well but I am thinking about putting a straightener in it because having to use a flat iron everyday is a pain in the booty.. I mean seriously 40 mint. to straighten it everyday. ughhhhhh
I love the colors, red and creme, pink and brown and any fall color you can imagine.. just think how colorful my home will be when we build and move. HAHAH
I plan tomorrow to revamp my office. From head to toe while my sweetie sleeps and by wed. have my store ready to open. IT'S about time don't ya think??
I love being an AUNT....I think about it often and I just love being one. My nieces and nephews are the most awesome kids on the earth!
I am going to start a new book and bible study.I am pretty excited about...It's by Beth Moore in my humble opinion you can't go wrong there.
I think I have some of the most amazing friends...Far and wide..I have friends that I can count on and depend on I am blessed.
I have my mom's sewing machine and I can not tell you how excited I am to start sewing..Wooo baby pretty things are to come.
Chad is off Monday and Tuesday THANK YOU LORD!! I LOVE my "chad days" that man just makes me happy...he makes me smile...he makes me ...oh sorry you get the point right! :0)
I had a kiwi, spinach and red pepper salad today with feta cheese and raspberry dressing. Wooo baby talk about good!
I think the benadryl is taking affect and I need to get off here.... so till next time!
hugs and love,
Francine
I LOVE my hair straight and chad does as well but I am thinking about putting a straightener in it because having to use a flat iron everyday is a pain in the booty.. I mean seriously 40 mint. to straighten it everyday. ughhhhhh
I love the colors, red and creme, pink and brown and any fall color you can imagine.. just think how colorful my home will be when we build and move. HAHAH
I plan tomorrow to revamp my office. From head to toe while my sweetie sleeps and by wed. have my store ready to open. IT'S about time don't ya think??
I love being an AUNT....I think about it often and I just love being one. My nieces and nephews are the most awesome kids on the earth!
I am going to start a new book and bible study.I am pretty excited about...It's by Beth Moore in my humble opinion you can't go wrong there.
I think I have some of the most amazing friends...Far and wide..I have friends that I can count on and depend on I am blessed.
I have my mom's sewing machine and I can not tell you how excited I am to start sewing..Wooo baby pretty things are to come.
Chad is off Monday and Tuesday THANK YOU LORD!! I LOVE my "chad days" that man just makes me happy...he makes me smile...he makes me ...oh sorry you get the point right! :0)
I had a kiwi, spinach and red pepper salad today with feta cheese and raspberry dressing. Wooo baby talk about good!
I think the benadryl is taking affect and I need to get off here.... so till next time!
hugs and love,
Francine
Friday, February 3, 2012
The BIG "D"
I have just finished reading the blog of a person I have been reading for a VERY LONG time.... when I realized due to circumstances in MY life I have missed reading for almost a month. I was shocked to discover that she is going through a very very tough time and has moved her children and her somewhere new WITHOUT her HUSBAND! Not because she wanted too but because HE did not want to be a part of there lives anymore. Folks this makes me sosoooooooooo SAD! My heart breaks and tears come to my eyes...I started just thinking over the past few years I know several (including me) women who have faced the big "D" and lives were shaken, hearts broken and children shook in such a way that it takes forever to just find balance in your life. **** I KNOW men go through this too I just don't know any men right now that are so DON'T leave me hate mail i will come get you if you do. Ha********
It seems so easy to say "I don't love you anymore I want a divorce, or I have fallen in love with someone else i want out" it shakes you in such a way that you do not know what to do... how to go again, how to move or react or how to do anything. In my case it was absolutely without a shadow of a doubt the BEST thing for me but at that point in time my world was crashing! I however have been blessed enough by GOD to be given a second chance and now that I am engaged to be married again I know this time I AM marrying my soul mate but not everyone gets that chance or wants to risk it and try it again. So I am sad and heart broken for lives that have to start over, for hearts that have to mend and for tears that must be shed. I am praying for this sweet lady and her babies as they pick up the pieces and move on and I pray that God will leave her heart softened and knowing that HIS will is best! I am so grateful that GOD gave me my Chad and with him my heart was healed and fixed and now I start again but I am also thankful because i know with him I am safe and with him my HEART IS SAFE!!!
This morning I will take time and pray for this family and really anyone else going through this...... It's a sad situation and its a hard thing to deal with but in the end there IS balance and eventually they will see the light.. It's there I promise it just may be a little hard to see right now...
God is always there always,always and always!!!
hugs and love,
Francine
With Christ ALL things are possible! Francine
It seems so easy to say "I don't love you anymore I want a divorce, or I have fallen in love with someone else i want out" it shakes you in such a way that you do not know what to do... how to go again, how to move or react or how to do anything. In my case it was absolutely without a shadow of a doubt the BEST thing for me but at that point in time my world was crashing! I however have been blessed enough by GOD to be given a second chance and now that I am engaged to be married again I know this time I AM marrying my soul mate but not everyone gets that chance or wants to risk it and try it again. So I am sad and heart broken for lives that have to start over, for hearts that have to mend and for tears that must be shed. I am praying for this sweet lady and her babies as they pick up the pieces and move on and I pray that God will leave her heart softened and knowing that HIS will is best! I am so grateful that GOD gave me my Chad and with him my heart was healed and fixed and now I start again but I am also thankful because i know with him I am safe and with him my HEART IS SAFE!!!
This morning I will take time and pray for this family and really anyone else going through this...... It's a sad situation and its a hard thing to deal with but in the end there IS balance and eventually they will see the light.. It's there I promise it just may be a little hard to see right now...
God is always there always,always and always!!!
hugs and love,
Francine
With Christ ALL things are possible! Francine
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