Random weekend thoughts.....

I have realized that I feel like I kinda live in a little cocoon. My work is from my house, my school is and if I go anywhere I have my sweetheart with me usually! I like it to be honest..I feel safe and protected and I can't tell you how long it's been since I felt like that.

I LOVE my hair straight and chad does as well but I am thinking about putting a straightener in it because having to use a flat iron everyday is a pain in the booty.. I mean seriously 40 mint. to straighten it everyday. ughhhhhh

I love the colors, red and creme, pink and brown and any fall color you can imagine.. just think how colorful my home will be when we build and move. HAHAH

I plan tomorrow to revamp my office. From head to toe while my sweetie sleeps and by wed. have my store ready to open. IT'S about time don't ya think??

I love being an AUNT....I think about it often and I just love being one. My nieces and nephews are the most awesome kids on the earth!

I am going to start a new book and bible study.I am pretty excited about...It's by Beth Moore in my humble opinion you can't go wrong there.

I think I have some of the most amazing friends...Far and wide..I have friends that I can count on and depend on I am blessed.

I have my mom's sewing machine and I can not tell you how excited I am to start sewing..Wooo baby pretty things are to come.

Chad is off Monday and Tuesday THANK YOU LORD!! I LOVE my "chad days" that man just makes me happy...he makes me smile...he makes me ...oh sorry you get the point right!  :0)

I had a kiwi, spinach and red pepper salad today with feta cheese and raspberry dressing. Wooo baby talk about good!

I think the benadryl is taking affect and I  need to get off here.... so till next time!
hugs and love,
Francine

The BIG "D"

I have just finished reading the blog of a person I have been reading for a VERY LONG time.... when I realized due to circumstances in MY life I have missed reading for almost a month. I was shocked to discover that she is going through a very very tough time and has moved her children and her somewhere new WITHOUT her HUSBAND! Not because she wanted too but because HE did not want to be a part of there lives anymore. Folks this makes me sosoooooooooo SAD! My heart breaks and tears come to my eyes...I started just thinking over the past few years I know several (including me) women who have faced the big "D" and lives were shaken, hearts broken and children shook in such a way that it takes forever to just find balance in your life. **** I KNOW men go through this too I just don't know any men right now that are so DON'T leave me hate mail i will come get you if you do. Ha********
It seems so easy to say "I don't love you anymore I want a divorce, or I have fallen in love with someone else i want out"  it shakes you in such a way that you do not know what to do... how to go again, how to move or react or how to do anything. In my case it was absolutely without a shadow of a doubt the BEST thing for me but at that point in time my world was crashing! I however have been blessed enough by GOD to be given a second chance and now that I am engaged to be married again I know this time I AM marrying my soul mate but not everyone gets that chance or wants to risk it and try it again. So I am sad and heart broken for lives that have to start over, for hearts that have to mend and for tears that must be shed. I am praying for this sweet lady and her babies as they pick up the pieces and move on and I pray that God will leave her heart softened and knowing that HIS will is best!  I am so grateful that GOD gave me my Chad and with him my heart was healed and fixed and now I start again but I am also thankful because i know with him I am safe and with him my HEART IS SAFE!!!
This morning I will take time and pray for this family and really anyone else going through this...... It's a sad situation and its a hard thing to deal with but in the end there IS balance and eventually they will see the light.. It's there I promise it just may be a little hard to see right now...
God is always there always,always and always!!!
hugs and love,
Francine










With Christ ALL things are possible! Francine

It's been a while............................

To say the past few weeks have been some of the hardest AND some of the most amazing weeks would be putting it mildly in every way possible. As many of you already know and based on my last post my sweet and precious Granny Parker passed away and Chad and I quickly packed our bags and headed to FL to be with family for the funeral. Now let me just add right here I have known since the day I laid eyes on Chad that he was without a doubt the most amazing man I have EVER had the honour of knowing BUT this just defined that even more... This man stepped in and not only protected and watched over me but was there for my mother and family helping matt as well. Chad NOT knowing anyone as he went to Florida still found a way to comfort me, be there for my mom and make her feel like he had always been a part of the family AND show my sweet babies he will be an Uncle they will always LOVE! I don't know how somebody does that.....but that man stepped up and did it. I have NEVER been so proud of someone in my life. Often very quiet not saying much yet knowing exactly when to take my hand, when to put his arm around me, when to crack a joke with the kids, when to make mom laugh or my sister or bro-in-law...he just knew and he won everybody in my family over. I knew my oldest nephew would take the most because he was sooooo hurt by my ex yet Chad did it...he won him over. It just confirmed in my heart what I have always known God made that man FOR ME!!!!!
I am humbled and brought to tears and sooooo thankful for this quiet,strong,faithful and loving man!
Sooo after granny's funeral we decided to lighten the mood, we would take the kids to the beach and we talked MOM into going with us however the joke was on me because mom and chad HAD A PLAN!!! We went to the beach and we were having the best time.. mom was chilling on the blanket for a bit and the kids were playing with chad and I was taking pictures...suddenly Chad disappears. I asked mom where he went, she said he went to the truck and i am thinking 20mint later "did the man get kidnapped?" lol finally i turn around and see him. Mom while he was gone had said when he gets back why don't yall go for a walk and ill watch the kids..hmmmm ok...NOW I'm a tad suspicious but I will go with it! So we go for a little walk and all of the sudden he stops and we are looking at the water just chit chatting and the next thing I know chad is on one knee asking me to marry him. Let me just tell you there ARE things that NEVER, EVER leave your mind. Seeing that man on his knee asking ME to MARRY HIM I will NEVER forget that picture or the words he used to ask me! Of course I said yes and my ring is PERFECT! I love it! I was sooo excited and my sister was as well. Life had knew meaning. Such a sad start to the week yet such a sweet ending ........He did it again! :0)
Now that I am back home and trying very hard to find a good balance..... I'm still mourning the loss of my grandmother but at the same time I feel this STRONG desire to want everything in my life to be what GOD intended for it to be. Which means I have to make some hard decisions and honestly MANY people will probably NOT understand why I will do some of the things I will do. I feel that I need to remove some people from my life, I need to close some doors, I need to NOT feel that I have to chase people to be my friends, I need more than ever STRONG BONDS with family, I need to make sure I am the AUNT ALL my nieces and nephews deserve and the Aunt they can look up too. I need to follow my heart and take a leap of faith and go for what I feel GOD and I want me to do with my life career wise. I need to take care of myself in my health,spiritual,mental and any other way! Trying to find balance in a crazy world is not easy but I know I am getting there...I am figuring things out and I am realizing that it is time to be true TO ME! I have for far to long worried what others would think or that I wasn't strong enough, wise enough, smart enough or capable enough to do the things I really wanted to do. I gave up on ever being a MOM or WIFE because I really never thought it would happen. NOW PRAISE GOD I have been given a second chance and I WILL NOT let it go by! I will take it and I will make exactly what GOD wants it to be. My life starts with GOD and ends with GOD and in between there is Chad, nieces,nephews,family,friends,dreams,hopes,and Perfect peace.... I am undeserving but I am greatful.. Not many people get a second chance yet somehow GOD felt I should have one. I bow my head and raise my my arms to Praise him for I know it's only because he loves me sooo much! Thank you GOD ....
My promise is this......I will make GOD and Granny proud so when they look down on me and my family they can smile and know I AM OK!!!! Always in my heart and NEVER forgotten!!! I LOVE YOU GRANNY !!!!












With Christ ALL things are possible!Francine

How do you say good-bye!

Today right around 12pm I lost my grandma...someone I admired and looked up too. Today I also understood WHY I went home this past summer. I have questioned many times the events that took place over the past year and why I have be in the situation I was in and yet now I UNDERSTAND! God gave me a chance to make memories with my granny that otherwise I may have never been able to make. I was in Pensacola for the entire summer and spent many many days with granny..from just talking to her, to helping her with this or that really just whatever she needed me to do. I was able to make wonderful memories that for the rest of my life I can look back on and remember. I am SOOO thankful that granny found out and new that I was happy and ok and that she did not leave this world worried about me. She was without a doubt a wonderful grandmother and I am blessed that this amazing woman was in my life and such a huge part of my life.
Although I am grateful for all these memories there is still no way to really know how to say good-bye so I have decided just as I did with my paw paw that I won't say good-bye because one day I will be in heaven with them and I will get to see and talk to them again. This is not good-bye just I will see you soon. My life will always be touched by her kind words, her jokes between her and I and her always telling me how much she loved me. I am grateful now that God saw fit to take me home for the summer and give me a chance to make such wonderful memories with such a wonderful woman. These next few weeks will be hard for all us but we can find some comfort in knowing that she does not suffer anymore and that when she left she KNEW we loved her.
Granny I will miss the phone calls and the little jokes we shared, I will miss walking in your house and seeing all the pictures on the wall of all of us, of talking to you about this or that or calling you to ask a question about cooking something I will miss all off that and you so much! I love you and I am sooo grateful to have had such an amazing grandmother in my life. I will always love you and I will NEVER forget you !!! I pray that you will look down and see me happy, see me get married and see me have babies and know I AM OK!!!! Thank you for touching my life in such an amazing way! I promise my children will always know who you were!!! Go rest now and give Paw Paw a hug for me!!! I love you soooo much!!!

With Christ ALL things are possible!Francine

Re-Cap of the year!

Since the year is almost over I thought I would take a second and just look back on the past year and make a list of the things I have learned some important and some not so much.... yet all lessons learned!
Soooo here we go:

1) I learned that children are truly a blessing from God. (i already knew this but it was brought even clearer to me this year)

2) I learned that money is NOT everything...yeah it does help pay the bills but if you have nothing else to live for money is NOTHING !!

3) I learned that life throws us some major turns and the devil will do his best to destroy us but IF we turn to GOD he can and he will lift us back up and put us on our feet.

4) I learned I have a lot more inner strength than I thought I had.

5) I learned just because someone SAYS they are your friend does NOT mean they are your friend.

6) I have learned to listen to my heart and to my gut. Often they are both right.

7) I have learned what unconditional love is.. and what it's like to love somebody so much you would do ANYTHING to protect them and your relationship with them.

8)I have learned to cherish all moments in life..good,bad and ugly.

9) I learned that even when I am sitting down with NOTHING in me to get back up, when the world seems dark with no light at the end of the tunnel I CAN pick myself up and with GOD'S help move on.

10) I have learned what it's like to fall in love with your soul mate and to continue to fall in love with him day after day!

11) I have realized I don't need alot of people in my life just the ones that really matter.

12) I have learned that GOD is my rock without him I am nothing with him I am everything.

13) I have realized I can move forward and forget the past...

14) I can have a better life and more than that I DESERVE a better life.

15) I have learned how to cherish cuddeling with my babies, how to cherish the kisses and hugs when they are there and how to allow a young tween to have his space but at the same time make sure he knows I love him and I am here if he wants to talk.

16) I have found new friends that I will never forget and "friends" i pray I do forget.

17) I have learned that just because somebody played a part in making you does not mean they deserve the right to play a part in your life.

18) I have learned to love my mom even more.

19) I have learned sometimes you recieve closure when you least expect it from people you never thought you would get it from.

20) I have learned about pain, cheating, lieing, unconditional love, true friends, people who judge you, GOD and miracles..

This year has been overwhelming and although it has bad parts the good so out weigh the bad. I am sitting in a beautiful home and I am loved by an amazing man, I have GOD gifted friends, my mom is healthy, my grandmother is still with us, my nephews and nieces are perfect and my families both in florida and alabama are a blessing. For all the ups and downs I would not trade a thing in the end when its all said and done this crazy year brought me to where I am now and right now I wouldn't want to be anywhere else but here!!!

Love and hugs,
Francine

My eyes were opened!

So today I had a little "wake up" call so to speak! There are times when I get so overwhelmed with life in general I forget to be thankful for the blessings in my life. I try VERY HARD to never take for granted those that mean the most to me but I won't lie by saying chad hasn't occasionally got the brunt of my frustration....I have been sooo incredibly down because of it taking so long to finish training for my job, because I feel so bad that Chad is caring the load on his own right now, because Christmas won't be much this year, because well you get the picture! Do you see anything in the middle of all that... yeah don't you just wanna say "awww poor Francine" RIDICULOUS!! Let me assure you I am not a woman that prefers others feeling sorry for me. I have a HARD time taking help from anyone, i trust very few people in this world, and I am often MY worst enemy! I think perfection is all that should come out of me and when that does not happen I really begin to feel very very upset with ME!
Soooo because of all of the above well there was a tad bit of a tiff so to speak in the "Evans" house today... whose fault was it MINE! I have no problem admitting that... I started it and none of it was Chad's fault. He just happened to be the closest person at that time. Am I proud of it ?? NO, not at all and I am not writing about this right now for somebody to feel sorry for me I have a point to all this just go with me on it! Chad is sound asleep right now because well he worked his butt off last night and he is beyond exhausted... NOBODY can fathom how incredibly PROUD of that man I am. Yet I can assure you I am... today however, this morning , well it by NO MEANS proved that at all! I feel absolutely horrible about what happened and can promise you as soon as those pretty blue eyes of his wake up I will be apologizing!
After he went to bed this morning I just had to work through what I was dealing with ....so I did what I often do..I stopped and sat in silence. I listened and waited and than I prayed and than GOD brought me to something a little later this afternoon. I got a notice that one of my friends that blogs had posted a new post on her blog so I went to check it out and before my eyes sat what God decided to use as my humbling tool for the day! Kelly was stating how she receives soo many prayer request she doesn't have time to post them all so she started a new page just for prayer request. I clicked over and GOD started talking to me...oh my heart just hurt. I do not have a child that I have lost, I do not have a child that has cancer and could possibly die, I do not have a husband sick or ill, I am not suffering in any sense of the matter. My silly pathetic reasons for being so down were quickly diminished as I read prayer request after prayer request! My eyes filled with tears and I over and over bowed my head to pray and to ask God to forgive me. I think sometimes we get soo caught up in our own lives we FORGET that there IS more out there than just us!
I am blessed for so many reasons. So I am not working yet GOD has provided for my every need, he has lifted me up from such a bad place in my life that I sat in for over 6 years and sat me back down in such a better place. I am undeserving of those in my life that bless me every day from the love of my life Chad to my nephews and nieces -Matthew,Ryan,Brooke,Callie,Taylor and east on, to my God fearing mom who so set the bar for me, to my sister, my grandmother, my second family (Chad's mom and dad and family) , my girlfriends that are so abundant that it would take me all day to mention them, I live in a beautiful home, I am living,breathing and healthy. I am sooo blessed and yet I fail to realize how blessed I am. So much could be happening so much could be wrong and all I see is this little bad ANT hill that i want to make into a mountain. I realize and I am humbled.. I pray that as this month goes by I spend it looking to God and remembering why we are celebrating this time of the year.. I want to take time to pray for those who invest in my life and say thank you and let them know how much I love them. I want to walk away from this season in my life and feel I have learned EVERY lesson GOD wanted me to learn. My favorite song by Chris Tomlin *how great is our God* oh that song just blesses me..



Lord, let me never forget how blessed I am, let my eyes fall upon you and be greatful,thankful and humbled always. Let me never forget that you are always there and that no matter what the struggle you have my back and when the good times arrive you celebrate with me. Thank you for loving me so much that you would let your son die for me...I am so undeserving. For my Christmas present that I received about 7 months ago THANK YOU!! I promise to never take him for granted and to always do my best to not take things out on him.
Yall be blessed today....find somebody you love and tell them you love them and don't wait till tomorrow do it today!!!
Love yall
francine

Just some thoughts I wanted to share..........

Wow I did not realize that it had been so long since I had last posted! I have been sooo crazy busy with just life in general from school work, to unpacking, to decorating, going to bama, spending time with chad, getting everything set up for training for my new job and on and on and on. So I apologize yall... however I do have something on my mind and wanted to just throw it out there...

I am somewhat of an Emotional person.. I do NOT say this with shame or my head hung down I say it honestly with no regret. I am somebody who LOVES with all she has and carries her feeling very very close to her heart. Someone who has been burned one to many times and often probably more than needed pays attention to her gut feelings instead of her rational side of her brain. I do NOT feel its a bad thing most of the time but I will admit sometimes it can drive those that love me CRAZY!!!

I was thinking today about my life and all that is in it now.. I am so abundantly blessed and have so much to be thankful for yet I often will allow the devil to cause me to doubt,question or worry about things that I should not be stressing over. I am not a person to take people or things for granted simply because when I get that comfortable something always ends up happening. I even feel bad for feeling that way....I am in a new phase of my life I have this amazing boyfriend that I love more than anything in the world and that loves me the same, I have some awesome future in-laws, and I am surrounded by the friends that matter the most yet the devil still manages to sneak in there and whisper feelings of doubt and I let him have a field day..oh the things he will say to me. I realize this and need to put a stop to it.. I BELIEVE with all my heart the devil messes with those who he knows are on there way to doing great things.. I mean why mess with somebody if they are doing what he wants sooo therefore he knows where I am headed and he apparently must not like it. I know I am not alone in this struggle of being anxious and worrying but I also know I need to give it to GOD and quit allowing it to control my life. You can only blame your past for the way you are for so long and than well in the wise words of a friend of mine" you need to put your big girl panties on and get over it" soooo that is where I am now..Realizing that what is in the past is there for a reason and it has absolutely NO PLACE in my present or future. In order to be successful with my life I MUST put my faith in GOD and trust that he will take care of not only me but those that mean so much to me. I can't allow those insecurities and whispers of the devil to bother me anymore.. my GOD is a loving GOD and he will not walk away or give up on me.. he has put people in my life that love me AS I AM!! What a concept for me, as it has been a long time since that has happened. I am grateful sooo grateful for those that mean so much to me...for chad and for the life we have together! So I move forward and I vow to quit allowing the devil a playground to run around in...I vow to become even more positive and not worry so much! Will this be easy my guess probably not but can it be done ABSOLUTELY!!!! Do you struggle like this?? please tell me I am NOT the only one!!

There is a book I am just starting to read AGAIN for the 4th time and I lie not to you.....It is by my FAVORITE author Beth Moore--it is call "So long insecurity".. amazing awesome book. In it there is this thought :Beth states "This thought never grows old to me: God has NO dark side, In him there is NO darkness at all. That, beloved, is our challenge. " To let the healthy, utterly whole, and completely secure part of us increasingly overtake our earthen vessels until it drives our every emotion, reaction, and relationship. When we allow God's truth to eclipse every false positive and let our eyes spring open to the treasure we have, there in His glorious reflection we'll also see the treasure we are. And the beauty of the Lord of God will be upon us." Psalms 90:17

Praise the Lord for this....what I see as JUNK, my loving Father sees as Treasure.. I am so undeserving yet so grateful he loves me so much.. I know with God in my corner the darkness has NO WHERE to dwell and must be removed.. this could cause quite the extreme moves. If needed it will be done. I must get myself and my life where GOD wants it. I have been given such an amazing chance at life a second time. With this wonderful man and a BRIGHT FUTURE I will NOT allow anything to stand in our way. NOTHING!!!

Ladies please go with me on this but I have to step into something for a few minutes and trust me this will be as uncomfortable for you as it is for me!

Have you ever dealt with jealousy, or insecurity in your relationship? Ever felt like you weren't good enough NO MATTER WHAT HE TOLD YOU! Always felt like you couldn't measure up to the other girls that had been in his life, constantly worrying is he going to leave you, OR allowed your past to cause problems in your present??? YOU are not alone... I have felt these feeling many times.. I am lucky enough to have an amazing man that constantly reassures me and lets me know how much he loves me but even with that I still have doubt sometimes. I am not proud of it but I am learning how to fix it... Let me share some thoughts with you.

Firs of all "Insecurity lives in constant terror of loss. Insecure people are always afraid that something or somebody is going to be taken from them." sound familiar? Hold on I got more.....

God has got what we need....and it is up to us whether or not we are going to allow the worst of us to get the best of us. hmmmm CHEW on that for a second and than think on this Psalms 20:1 May the lord answer you when you are in trouble, may the God of Jacob MAKE YOU SECURE!!!

Oh somebody give me an AMEN!! There is the key ladies of insecurity let GOD make you secure. No matter how good that man is he is human and we are too...and ladies let me just say this too you IF you have to constantly be worried what he is doing and where he is at and IF he is being faithful than perhaps HE should not be in your life... and that goes for men as well perhaps SHE should not be in your life. You should be able to feel safe and know that HE/she is honest,faithful,upfront, loving,caring, God-fearing, and loves you enough to not want to break those vows you made or those commitments that you made. If that is not the case think very strongly about where you are and if they need to be there with you. Above all else GO TO GOD!! Let him give you security and put your total faith in him and than you will know you are walking in the right way. GOD IS SECURITY! Ok I am stepping down from my pedestal I pray you were able to get something from that.. and please if you can find the book by Beth Moore and read it, get your bible out with it take notes and compare it to what the bible says.. there is good stuff in there yall!!!

In closing i want to say this...I am a very passionate person, I am also very crafty by nature which basically means I am somebody whose mind goes 90 to nothing constantly, if I am watching TV i feel bad because I should be doing school work, if I'm doing school work i feel bad because I should be doing something else.. and on and on,,, I am messy at times but usually very neat, I am also a perfectionist in many areas of my life, I will take on and take on things.. I have a hard time saying no to people, I do not like letting people down and will go out of my way to put a smile on somebodies face, I am serious a lot of the time and I think way too much but I am also a very tender hearted person and very loving and caring, my family,friends and the man in my life mean everything in the world to me. I love GOD with all that is in me and I fail often but I do keep trying. God loves me for what I am and he sees where I am weak and is working on those areas with me. He brought this amazing man in my life who is tender hearted and kind and understanding.. I don't worry about where he is when he isn't with me nor do I worry about him being faithful or cheating on me.. wow that is so nice! God is giving me peace and it is wonderful! I am sooo grateful for all the lord has done. I pray that you also find peace in your life and if your dealing with any of these issues remember this GOD IS THE ANSWER!!

With Christ ALL things are possible!Francine