Wow I did not realize that it had been so long since I had last posted! I have been sooo crazy busy with just life in general from school work, to unpacking, to decorating, going to bama, spending time with chad, getting everything set up for training for my new job and on and on and on. So I apologize yall... however I do have something on my mind and wanted to just throw it out there...
I am somewhat of an Emotional person.. I do NOT say this with shame or my head hung down I say it honestly with no regret. I am somebody who LOVES with all she has and carries her feeling very very close to her heart. Someone who has been burned one to many times and often probably more than needed pays attention to her gut feelings instead of her rational side of her brain. I do NOT feel its a bad thing most of the time but I will admit sometimes it can drive those that love me CRAZY!!!
I was thinking today about my life and all that is in it now.. I am so abundantly blessed and have so much to be thankful for yet I often will allow the devil to cause me to doubt,question or worry about things that I should not be stressing over. I am not a person to take people or things for granted simply because when I get that comfortable something always ends up happening. I even feel bad for feeling that way....I am in a new phase of my life I have this amazing boyfriend that I love more than anything in the world and that loves me the same, I have some awesome future in-laws, and I am surrounded by the friends that matter the most yet the devil still manages to sneak in there and whisper feelings of doubt and I let him have a field day..oh the things he will say to me. I realize this and need to put a stop to it.. I BELIEVE with all my heart the devil messes with those who he knows are on there way to doing great things.. I mean why mess with somebody if they are doing what he wants sooo therefore he knows where I am headed and he apparently must not like it. I know I am not alone in this struggle of being anxious and worrying but I also know I need to give it to GOD and quit allowing it to control my life. You can only blame your past for the way you are for so long and than well in the wise words of a friend of mine" you need to put your big girl panties on and get over it" soooo that is where I am now..Realizing that what is in the past is there for a reason and it has absolutely NO PLACE in my present or future. In order to be successful with my life I MUST put my faith in GOD and trust that he will take care of not only me but those that mean so much to me. I can't allow those insecurities and whispers of the devil to bother me anymore.. my GOD is a loving GOD and he will not walk away or give up on me.. he has put people in my life that love me AS I AM!! What a concept for me, as it has been a long time since that has happened. I am grateful sooo grateful for those that mean so much to me...for chad and for the life we have together! So I move forward and I vow to quit allowing the devil a playground to run around in...I vow to become even more positive and not worry so much! Will this be easy my guess probably not but can it be done ABSOLUTELY!!!! Do you struggle like this?? please tell me I am NOT the only one!!
There is a book I am just starting to read AGAIN for the 4th time and I lie not to you.....It is by my FAVORITE author Beth Moore--it is call "So long insecurity".. amazing awesome book. In it there is this thought :Beth states "This thought never grows old to me: God has NO dark side, In him there is NO darkness at all. That, beloved, is our challenge. " To let the healthy, utterly whole, and completely secure part of us increasingly overtake our earthen vessels until it drives our every emotion, reaction, and relationship. When we allow God's truth to eclipse every false positive and let our eyes spring open to the treasure we have, there in His glorious reflection we'll also see the treasure we are. And the beauty of the Lord of God will be upon us." Psalms 90:17
Praise the Lord for this....what I see as JUNK, my loving Father sees as Treasure.. I am so undeserving yet so grateful he loves me so much.. I know with God in my corner the darkness has NO WHERE to dwell and must be removed.. this could cause quite the extreme moves. If needed it will be done. I must get myself and my life where GOD wants it. I have been given such an amazing chance at life a second time. With this wonderful man and a BRIGHT FUTURE I will NOT allow anything to stand in our way. NOTHING!!!
Ladies please go with me on this but I have to step into something for a few minutes and trust me this will be as uncomfortable for you as it is for me!
Have you ever dealt with jealousy, or insecurity in your relationship? Ever felt like you weren't good enough NO MATTER WHAT HE TOLD YOU! Always felt like you couldn't measure up to the other girls that had been in his life, constantly worrying is he going to leave you, OR allowed your past to cause problems in your present??? YOU are not alone... I have felt these feeling many times.. I am lucky enough to have an amazing man that constantly reassures me and lets me know how much he loves me but even with that I still have doubt sometimes. I am not proud of it but I am learning how to fix it... Let me share some thoughts with you.
Firs of all "Insecurity lives in constant terror of loss. Insecure people are always afraid that something or somebody is going to be taken from them." sound familiar? Hold on I got more.....
God has got what we need....and it is up to us whether or not we are going to allow the worst of us to get the best of us. hmmmm CHEW on that for a second and than think on this Psalms 20:1 May the lord answer you when you are in trouble, may the God of Jacob MAKE YOU SECURE!!!
Oh somebody give me an AMEN!! There is the key ladies of insecurity let GOD make you secure. No matter how good that man is he is human and we are too...and ladies let me just say this too you IF you have to constantly be worried what he is doing and where he is at and IF he is being faithful than perhaps HE should not be in your life... and that goes for men as well perhaps SHE should not be in your life. You should be able to feel safe and know that HE/she is honest,faithful,upfront, loving,caring, God-fearing, and loves you enough to not want to break those vows you made or those commitments that you made. If that is not the case think very strongly about where you are and if they need to be there with you. Above all else GO TO GOD!! Let him give you security and put your total faith in him and than you will know you are walking in the right way. GOD IS SECURITY! Ok I am stepping down from my pedestal I pray you were able to get something from that.. and please if you can find the book by Beth Moore and read it, get your bible out with it take notes and compare it to what the bible says.. there is good stuff in there yall!!!
In closing i want to say this...I am a very passionate person, I am also very crafty by nature which basically means I am somebody whose mind goes 90 to nothing constantly, if I am watching TV i feel bad because I should be doing school work, if I'm doing school work i feel bad because I should be doing something else.. and on and on,,, I am messy at times but usually very neat, I am also a perfectionist in many areas of my life, I will take on and take on things.. I have a hard time saying no to people, I do not like letting people down and will go out of my way to put a smile on somebodies face, I am serious a lot of the time and I think way too much but I am also a very tender hearted person and very loving and caring, my family,friends and the man in my life mean everything in the world to me. I love GOD with all that is in me and I fail often but I do keep trying. God loves me for what I am and he sees where I am weak and is working on those areas with me. He brought this amazing man in my life who is tender hearted and kind and understanding.. I don't worry about where he is when he isn't with me nor do I worry about him being faithful or cheating on me.. wow that is so nice! God is giving me peace and it is wonderful! I am sooo grateful for all the lord has done. I pray that you also find peace in your life and if your dealing with any of these issues remember this GOD IS THE ANSWER!!
With Christ ALL things are possible!Francine
