There is a story I would like to share in hopes that perhaps ONE GIRL will read it and take it to heart and not allow it to happen to them...It's not a story I have shared with many and it is not a story I am proud of but none the less it is a story.
There was a girl I knew she had very very low self-esteem, she had no confidence and she little faith in her self. She didn't think she would ever get married, she didn't think she deserved a man, she didn't think she was beautiful enough to have anyone in her life, to have kids, to have any of those dreams that she sooo greatly desired! One day this girl met a guy..he was cute, funny and smart he said sweet things to her, he took he out to dinner and he "romanced" her. She thought "he hung the moon" she was head over hills in love.....and she THOUGHT he was too. However the more she got to know him the more she noticed little things, one being his nonacceptance of what she physically looked like. All through there relationship he was constantly demeaning her, making her feel as if she was unworthy and should feel like she was lucky to have him. He lied to her constantly and blatantly did so. He would make her look like a fool to those who loved her but to her face act as if he "loved" her as much as she loved him. He often told her she MUST have makeup on because she was NOT pretty enough without make-up. She would hear all the time how she wasn't skinny enough, that good old saying "if you really love me than you would do ..........", she was asked to do things that were just beyond crazy against EVERYTHING she believed in. He knew she felt like she could do no better so he playing with her emotions, he verbally abused her, he physically abused her and he almost literally destroyed her.
I won't go into the details and I won't say who the person is none of that matters what does matter is realizing WHY it happened other than the fact that he is just pure evil, it happened because SHE did not have any faith in herself, man after man in her life had let her down, had hurt her in some way and she was at the bottom of the barrel in trying to pick herself up....she had NO self-esteem and he knew it, she was terrified he would leave her and he knew it, she was scared she would grow old alone and he knew it. He used all of that against her and almost destroyed her...eventually he was caught in his affairs and she finally left him. She walked away and it hurt it a lot but with the love of family and friends and more than anything GOD she was able to pull herself together and eventually move on. God,life and time heal all wounds!
She looks back on that time in her life and it saddens her that she had got so low and so good at hiding things from her family that they really had no clue what was going on. God has blessed her and brought someone new in her life and she is finally experiencing what REAL love is like. She is blessed now and getting stronger every day. However she still thinks about that time and what she would tell her nieces or any girl or woman that is being controlled,abused or mistreated by a man and this is what she came up with:
1) You are precious in the sight of the lord ...You are a princess and you should be treated as so.
2) You deserve respect, demand it, expect it!
3) Never allow anyone to control how you feel about yourself! Look in the mirror remind yourself daily that you are wonderful,amazing, out of this world and you deserve only the best!
4) If you are in a relationship where you are being physically abused,emotionally abused or verbally abused realize it WILL NOT STOP!!! They are not going to quit and eventually it could get very very ugly.
5) Also realize you did not cause him to do it and it is not your fault DO NOT ACCEPT BLAME!
6) Seek help! PLEASE seek help! Confide in someone and be brave..and know that even though you may feel as though your life is falling into a thousand pieces YOU WILL BE OK!
7) Take time to heal, surround yourself with good people and God and move forward. KNOW there are GOOD MEN out there!
Love should never ever be about bruises, low self-esteem, making the person you love do things they do not want to do just to please you. Love should never cause fear and pain in such a horrible way THAT IS NOT LOVE!
Love is a wonderful thing when done in the right way with a man/woman God has given you. Love should make you feel happy and special (granted you will have fights some times but they should never lead to you being hit) You are special and deserve to be loved the right way!
I know all this is true because this story was about me and just a tad of what I have been through and although i hate what I experienced and I don't talk about it often I also know that I will find a way to take something from it and move forward. I am strong there is NO doubting that, I am important to GOD and I do matter. I will never ever allow another person to hit me or abuse me in anyway! I have a voice i have an opinion and I will be heard!
So in the end the abuse did not win HE did not win I DID and for that I hold my head up and I am proud!
Now I am happy to say I have a man in my life that GOD brought me , I am engaged to be married and I am excited about life and I know I never ever again have to worry about a man hitting me or abusing me in any way!
I have worried about what type of example I would set for my nieces because I want them to be proud of me. I feel like I have shown them that being a woman does not mean you coward down it means you stand strong, proud and you fight for what you believe in. I know that in the future they will all three start dating and I will pray that they will always remember what I went through and never ever go through it themselves. If I can stop just one girl, if I can protect Brooklyn, Callie and Taylor from ever being treated this way by being honest with them and open about what happened to me than I know I have made something really good come out of all that bad. That is more than enough for me!
I am survivor and I am damn proud of it!
