Re-Cap of the year!

Since the year is almost over I thought I would take a second and just look back on the past year and make a list of the things I have learned some important and some not so much.... yet all lessons learned!
Soooo here we go:

1) I learned that children are truly a blessing from God. (i already knew this but it was brought even clearer to me this year)

2) I learned that money is NOT everything...yeah it does help pay the bills but if you have nothing else to live for money is NOTHING !!

3) I learned that life throws us some major turns and the devil will do his best to destroy us but IF we turn to GOD he can and he will lift us back up and put us on our feet.

4) I learned I have a lot more inner strength than I thought I had.

5) I learned just because someone SAYS they are your friend does NOT mean they are your friend.

6) I have learned to listen to my heart and to my gut. Often they are both right.

7) I have learned what unconditional love is.. and what it's like to love somebody so much you would do ANYTHING to protect them and your relationship with them.

8)I have learned to cherish all moments in life..good,bad and ugly.

9) I learned that even when I am sitting down with NOTHING in me to get back up, when the world seems dark with no light at the end of the tunnel I CAN pick myself up and with GOD'S help move on.

10) I have learned what it's like to fall in love with your soul mate and to continue to fall in love with him day after day!

11) I have realized I don't need alot of people in my life just the ones that really matter.

12) I have learned that GOD is my rock without him I am nothing with him I am everything.

13) I have realized I can move forward and forget the past...

14) I can have a better life and more than that I DESERVE a better life.

15) I have learned how to cherish cuddeling with my babies, how to cherish the kisses and hugs when they are there and how to allow a young tween to have his space but at the same time make sure he knows I love him and I am here if he wants to talk.

16) I have found new friends that I will never forget and "friends" i pray I do forget.

17) I have learned that just because somebody played a part in making you does not mean they deserve the right to play a part in your life.

18) I have learned to love my mom even more.

19) I have learned sometimes you recieve closure when you least expect it from people you never thought you would get it from.

20) I have learned about pain, cheating, lieing, unconditional love, true friends, people who judge you, GOD and miracles..

This year has been overwhelming and although it has bad parts the good so out weigh the bad. I am sitting in a beautiful home and I am loved by an amazing man, I have GOD gifted friends, my mom is healthy, my grandmother is still with us, my nephews and nieces are perfect and my families both in florida and alabama are a blessing. For all the ups and downs I would not trade a thing in the end when its all said and done this crazy year brought me to where I am now and right now I wouldn't want to be anywhere else but here!!!

Love and hugs,
Francine

My eyes were opened!

So today I had a little "wake up" call so to speak! There are times when I get so overwhelmed with life in general I forget to be thankful for the blessings in my life. I try VERY HARD to never take for granted those that mean the most to me but I won't lie by saying chad hasn't occasionally got the brunt of my frustration....I have been sooo incredibly down because of it taking so long to finish training for my job, because I feel so bad that Chad is caring the load on his own right now, because Christmas won't be much this year, because well you get the picture! Do you see anything in the middle of all that... yeah don't you just wanna say "awww poor Francine" RIDICULOUS!! Let me assure you I am not a woman that prefers others feeling sorry for me. I have a HARD time taking help from anyone, i trust very few people in this world, and I am often MY worst enemy! I think perfection is all that should come out of me and when that does not happen I really begin to feel very very upset with ME!
Soooo because of all of the above well there was a tad bit of a tiff so to speak in the "Evans" house today... whose fault was it MINE! I have no problem admitting that... I started it and none of it was Chad's fault. He just happened to be the closest person at that time. Am I proud of it ?? NO, not at all and I am not writing about this right now for somebody to feel sorry for me I have a point to all this just go with me on it! Chad is sound asleep right now because well he worked his butt off last night and he is beyond exhausted... NOBODY can fathom how incredibly PROUD of that man I am. Yet I can assure you I am... today however, this morning , well it by NO MEANS proved that at all! I feel absolutely horrible about what happened and can promise you as soon as those pretty blue eyes of his wake up I will be apologizing!
After he went to bed this morning I just had to work through what I was dealing with ....so I did what I often do..I stopped and sat in silence. I listened and waited and than I prayed and than GOD brought me to something a little later this afternoon. I got a notice that one of my friends that blogs had posted a new post on her blog so I went to check it out and before my eyes sat what God decided to use as my humbling tool for the day! Kelly was stating how she receives soo many prayer request she doesn't have time to post them all so she started a new page just for prayer request. I clicked over and GOD started talking to me...oh my heart just hurt. I do not have a child that I have lost, I do not have a child that has cancer and could possibly die, I do not have a husband sick or ill, I am not suffering in any sense of the matter. My silly pathetic reasons for being so down were quickly diminished as I read prayer request after prayer request! My eyes filled with tears and I over and over bowed my head to pray and to ask God to forgive me. I think sometimes we get soo caught up in our own lives we FORGET that there IS more out there than just us!
I am blessed for so many reasons. So I am not working yet GOD has provided for my every need, he has lifted me up from such a bad place in my life that I sat in for over 6 years and sat me back down in such a better place. I am undeserving of those in my life that bless me every day from the love of my life Chad to my nephews and nieces -Matthew,Ryan,Brooke,Callie,Taylor and east on, to my God fearing mom who so set the bar for me, to my sister, my grandmother, my second family (Chad's mom and dad and family) , my girlfriends that are so abundant that it would take me all day to mention them, I live in a beautiful home, I am living,breathing and healthy. I am sooo blessed and yet I fail to realize how blessed I am. So much could be happening so much could be wrong and all I see is this little bad ANT hill that i want to make into a mountain. I realize and I am humbled.. I pray that as this month goes by I spend it looking to God and remembering why we are celebrating this time of the year.. I want to take time to pray for those who invest in my life and say thank you and let them know how much I love them. I want to walk away from this season in my life and feel I have learned EVERY lesson GOD wanted me to learn. My favorite song by Chris Tomlin *how great is our God* oh that song just blesses me..



Lord, let me never forget how blessed I am, let my eyes fall upon you and be greatful,thankful and humbled always. Let me never forget that you are always there and that no matter what the struggle you have my back and when the good times arrive you celebrate with me. Thank you for loving me so much that you would let your son die for me...I am so undeserving. For my Christmas present that I received about 7 months ago THANK YOU!! I promise to never take him for granted and to always do my best to not take things out on him.
Yall be blessed today....find somebody you love and tell them you love them and don't wait till tomorrow do it today!!!
Love yall
francine