Good evening everyone! I hope you have a wonderful day today! I will be honest when I say I have literally not done much of anything today... I spend about half the day on the couch with my other half watching movies. I cherish those times when we get to do that together! I will stop anything I am doing to take time out to spend with that man. I cherish every second because I know tomorrow is never promised.
Tonight I have been thinking about how I sometimes seem to "give up to easy" I don't think I really know why I just always give up on myself. So I am asking God to help me to not allow that to happen anymore. I am getting a calendar and marking off 21 days for each thing I want to change... most people say it usually takes about 21 days to break a habit. I have A LOT of BAD habits to break. Just like loosing weight I am not getting any younger and if I want to live my life to it's fullest I have to start living and quit just dreaming about the day when......because the day" when" may never come UNLESS I make it.
NO it is not easy.... please know I am struggling just like you but I am also trying really hard to focus on not as much the struggle as the accomplishments. It's the only way I can do this. I have to have the right frame of mind in order for this to work. I am the only one standing in my way of making my dreams happen so it is literally NOW or NEVER!
I want you to be successful to in all that you are trying to do. I know you have it in you to accomplish whatever your goals for this year are!! I am praying for you to be all that you can be this year!
I also have another confession to make it's not really one I am proud of but I am going to make it anyway. My heart was very hurt and broken by several people in my past who claimed they were "Christians" and who have purposely deceived and hurt me. They still to this day think they have done nothing wrong but I was so hurt that I walked away from church.. People I am a church goer I always have been. I have always loved it... worshiping GOD is something I have always loved doing. For almost 2 years I have not walked in a church but I realize now that blaming GOD for what they did to me was very wrong and that I have no right to turn my back on God because of something HUMANS who are NOT perfect did. I am working on looking at church's to find a good match for chad and I and praying that the lord will open the door to where we can go and be accepted and loved. Until than I worship GOD in my home and trust that the door that needs to be opened will be when the time is right and GOD is ready for it to be.
So there you go... huge stumbling block and not something I am proud of !
So much in the past brought FEAR to my life. I never really backed down just found another way to make it work. Now I just want to accept it is what it is and move forward.. The PAST is just that in the past and the people in that part of my life need to stay there I have no room for that in the " here and now" or the future. I won't ever allow another person to pull me from God again. EVER!
Tomorrow morning I will start the day working out and I will probably pop in and let you know how it goes and I will also be applying for jobs as well because I am not happy where I am. So please keep me in prayer. There are a lot of changes being made a lot of things I have to work through but I know with GOD ALL things are possible! I have faith he WILL carry me through.
Love to you all,
Francine
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